for this subject, until the end of the schoolyear, I have the time and space to work on a project I've chosen myself - something I've always wanted to learn or find really interesting.

In the end, every student will show their work at an exposition as the official exam for this subject.

I started off with a brainstorm of ideas of things I could do/learn:

To get interesting and clear ideas, I had to formulate them as research questions to explain what it is exactly that I wanted to get out of them.

• How can I express my emotions in my work and experiment with my own style? (Emotion regulation in a creative way)

• How can I give shape to all kinds of different vulnerable emotions? (Grief, anxiety, stress, depression etc.)

• Project idea: making cottagecore aesthetic landscape art

• How can I ensure that I can also develop my art style in analogue work?

(Chosen question:) • What can I do to train myself to draw more analogously (become better at it) and to develop my own style in characters, environments and other elements in it? 

Keep a sketchbook and complete it with all kinds of sketches of characters, objects and environments. Also experimenting with different materials such as markers, colored pencils, charcoal, etc. 

Also coming up with assignments such as drawing within a certain time, copying scenes from paused films or series, etc.

- Work completely analogous

- Make something in the sketchbook 2 days a week (Tuesday and Friday)

- Experiment with different materials (only pencil, colored pencils, markers, charcoal, etc.)

- Get inspiration from your own environment to copy

- For drawing nature, also take inspiration from the cottagecore aesthetic

- Study and practice anatomy

- Keep characters expressive (practice drawing expressions)

- Eventually learn to sketch faster by using timers

- Dare to make mistakes (don't tear out "failed” works)

- Dare to step outside my comfort zone

The teachers found my research question, what I want to do/achieve and my commandments very clear and so I could start!

Today is my first day drawing in my sketchbook. In order not to jump straight into the deep end, but first to get used to drawing on paper instead of on a screen, I'll be working this week (Tuesday, Friday and Saturday) on an exercise by illustrator and character designer Stephen Silver: sketching everything that comes to mind!

The exercise comes from his character design book that I received during my internship and it ensures that you loosen up, get used to drawing and let your thoughts run wild.
I am also inspired by illustrator Mitch Leeuwe, who fills two pages of his sketchbook every day. That also gave me motivation for my sketchbook project.

Today I couldn't sketch in my sketchbook, because of the deadline of my ambition project that I had to take into account. So I was too busy, but I will catch up as soon as possible!

I notice that I feel more and more comfortable with daring to draw with harder lines after practicing with it and using a fineliner.

The past few days I haven't been able to do as much for this project, due to other projects for other subjects and work pressure. I also notice that I experience a lot of stress/panic because of the time I have left for this project before the exhibition starts, which I also have to prepare for.
I therefore plan to make a schedule in which I plan a certain exercise per week that I then get to work with (drawing environments, experimenting with certain materials, sketching within time, practicing expressions, etc.). 

I first start with a small research to prepare for the exercise, then work on the exercise on Tuesdays, Fridays and Saturdays and ask for feedback from teachers/fellow students the following week, what I can take with me to the next exercise.

“The intention is that you enjoy this chosen subject and that it does not stress you. However far you get in your sketchbook, it is already a good enough thesis and you could present it at the exhibition on a wooden stand with a light on it and possibly your favorite spread(s) printed and framed or hung with a passe-partout. You can break the exercises into even smaller exercises so that you experiment with something different every day that you work on this.”

“It is very good that you take the time to reflect on how you feel and how you deal with this. That you were very panicked because you often make assignments much bigger than they are and you are very critical towards yourself and your work. You just need to put the brakes on. Take it easy. If a schedule gives you a better overview, that's only a good thing and you should do that.”

I'm going to break the exercises in my Trello schedule into smaller exercises so that I experiment with something different every day I work on this. Other than that I'm not going to be too critical and just give myself all the freedom to try everything to have fun with my sketchbook project!

To get a better understanding of the use of my fineliner and to get used to the feeling again, I decided to do a quick exercise of drawing lines as straight as I could without a ruler and a bunch of circles. All to try to get smoother with the tool.

Today, we went with school to Playgrounds and there was a live sketching activity that I attended with friends.
There was a model in costume/cosplay who posed for us to draw. 

First we had to sketch a number of poses within 10 minutes, then within 15 minutes.
The exercise was a lot of fun and also very good for me, because I often think too much while sketching. Now I was forced not to think, but to just do it and that felt very freeing.

I have decided to only work on the project on Tuesdays and Fridays, so no longer Saturdays as well. Because otherwise I will work overtime and I will force my creativity, when it should be free and it should come to me when I feel it. If I happen to feel motivation and creativity on Saturday (or any other day), I could of course work in my sketchbook.

The teacher understands and she agrees!

Today I was going to practice sketching environments within a certain time (5, 10 and 20 minutes). 

Here I tried again not to think at all and just start. I felt very free and I managed to sketch the environments within the time limit.

Next week I will ask for feedback on this and take it to the next exercise if possible.

We started the lesson off with a round of giving and receiving feedback with fellow students.

I learned that feedback is more about telling what you see and explaining how you feel about it or what the effects are. Is was really helpful!

I had to explain a few things about my project so far:

I explained my project based on these questions and a few students then gave me feedback:

- “You get more and more confidence in your work and you notice that you think less and do more, which is very nice and probably gives you a very free feeling.”

- “To successfully complete your project, you will continue to experiment to get as much knowledge as possible from the tools you have and to get a feel for them. You will keep stepping out of your comfort zone, which ensures that you improve quickly and learn a lot and it is also very good for your self-confidence.”

- “At first you had trouble getting an overview and you were very unsure about your project, whether it was good enough for your exam. But by talking about it a lot with the teachers and making a schedule for yourself, you soon had confidence in your project and in yourself again!”

"You work very structurally in your process and in your experiments; you keep everything neat and accurate.

You do technical research when you start drawing. You practice drawing from memory whatever comes to mind, you draw from references to train your eye-hand coordination and you train your motor skills, which is very important for artists.

A schedule helps you to keep an overview and to reach your goal, but you are aware that you can always deviate from the exercises you have planned. So keep a good record of your new discoveries for later, if you notice that you would like to continue working on something you've discovered.

Questions to consider:

- What would help you not to think while drawing? You already notice that you do this less when you work with timers; what else works? (Loud music?)
- What if your goal is achieved according to schedule? What are the discoveries? You are aware that you can always deviate from the exercises you have planned. Therefore keep a good record of your new discoveries for later, if you notice that you would like to continue working on something (e.g. after CP or perhaps in between exercises)."

- A schedule ensures that I have more peace of mind and feel more confident about my project.
- By sketching on paper, I work faster and I also already use this for my own projects outside this subject. Analog sketching is faster than digital.
- By sketching with timers I work much less carefully and I think much less, which gives a very free feeling and pleasure in drawing.

In addition to giving and receiving feedback, I also did my exercise for today and that was learning how to handle colored pencils. First I did a little exercise to see exactly what colors I have and how it felt again, then I drew the same picture that I had sketched in pencil earlier. I didn't keep a timer, because I wanted to have enough time to experiment properly with the colored pencils.
Even though I didn't have a timer, I still felt very free, so that was nice. I also really learned to step over a threshold of fear and just do it, because I have worked very little with colored pencils and all kinds of other tools than just pencils in my life and I now want to work with them much more.

The May holiday has started, but I have decided to still work in my sketchbook. Today I experimented with charcoal. Before that I first made a few loose doodles to get a feel for it and then I drew the same landscape that I have recreated a few times before with other materials. That's how I quickly learned how to handle charcoal.

Once I had done that, I decided to go outside with my sketchbook and draw some images/elements I came across in the area (as indicated in my 10 commandments). For privacy reasons I will not show the pictures of the environments that I have drawn, but of course I will show the drawings themselves!

They are all very loose and “messy” sketches, but I felt very nice and free while drawing. I also realized that the effect of charcoal would be much better seen in larger works/on a larger canvas. Drawing very small and accurate is quite difficult with the wide sticks of charcoal that I have.

At the end I also made a random drawing with colored pencils when I was sitting outside in a quiet place. This image came to me because of a song I was listening to at the time: 'Tosca: “Vissi d'arte” – Instrumental Version'.

We started the lesson by discussing our progress from the pre-holiday feedback session and how we plan to present our projects at the exhibition.

I have talked about how I feel much more free when drawing and experimenting in my sketchbook and that, according to teacher Tim, I should keep a record of the discoveries I make for when I want to work with them later - for example if I notice that charcoal is very nice, that I could do more with it later.

I also talked about my realization that I draw both traditionally and digitally with very loose movements. My general research question was also about the fact that I want to further develop my style, so that I can improve both on paper and digitally. So I already notice that my style starts with free drawing in loose shapes/movements/lines instead of careful, precise lines.
I've always been careful and a perfectionist when drawing and it's nice to see that I'm stepping over that threshold on the way to the best version of my art style.

I started with a little research into exaggerating expressions and how to do it properly. I used Pinterest, my inspiration database and character design theory by Stephen Silver.
Stephen Silver shows how you can convey certain emotions using action lines and I will try this in my own exercise that I did earlier this year during my apprenticeship --> making a silent object come to life! A pillow, in this case.

Because my research and process discussion didn't allow me to do much for my expressions practice in the previous lesson, I'll continue with it today.

Today I also spoke with teacher Eva about my process in expressions and how I want to exhibit my project in general. I want to design my exhibition in such a way that it shows me as a person. The whole process of sketching and experimenting in my own sketchbook is very personal, because it shows my style, but also because it helps me develop myself and step out of my comfort zone. The teacher finds it very powerful that I want to put it in such a personal way. It may seem simple, but it shows my identity and that makes it very strong, according to her. I also call my project 'Personal Freedom', because I've started to feel more and more free with all the experimentation and, of course, because it's very personal.

What I could do then is show this blog in Behance on my laptop and my sketchbook in front of it (not on a stand, because I don't have that on my desk at home either) on which a desk lamp is aimed to make it the focal point. I also want to put hints to me as a person around it, such as a notepad with written reminders (because I write down all important matters / appointments to clear my head), a photo frame with Buddy (my cat) and post-its with small pieces of explanation of what is happening.

Furthermore, I will write and print my self-reflection, because that is also on paper just like my analog drawings and that fits best with it.

I also decided to work on the hands anatomy assignment today, because that can be combined well with the expression exercises.

Today I started bringing back/experimenting with copic markers. I first looked at the different colors I had and how they looked on paper. Then I used them in several fineliner drawings.
Here I used my own original characters and a mutated rat that will (maybe) appear in my ambitionproject for an other subject focused on our ambitions. Now I've also looked at the colors for this character for that project; two in one!

Now that I know that my art style has been developed both digitally and traditionally (because I had recently concluded that my style consists of loose, free lines and shapes, which also gives me a very free feeling when drawing them), I was able to process this in drawing and coloring a landscape with the markers. For this I also used the same photo, that I used for almost every material to work with in my style, for drawing landscapes.

As I wrote in my 10 commandments, I must also dare to show my bad days. 

Such a day was today, where I came up with a small exercise of sketching within a certain time. 

I watched pieces of the animated film 'Luca' and paused it at times to re-draw the scene at that moment with a timer next to it.

Unfortunately, I wasn't in a good 'drawing mood' today, but that's also part of the process.

Today we did a workshop about exhibiting by a guest teacher. I had to choose a certain exhibition technique that appealed to me and explain why. Then we had to work in pairs and eventually groups to come up with the most important points that should be included in an exhibition.
The 3 points of my group were cohesion, best-suiting atmosphere and structure/good overview. But the most important thing is: 'do what makes you feel good!'

We then had to generate a special text in ChatGPT that summarized our project using questions that clearly described and explained the project.

“Welcome to Laura Nooijen's "Personal Freedom" project! This sketchbook is the result of my recent journey, in which I experimented with different materials such as pencils, markers and charcoal. In addition to various exercises to improve my sketching skills, this project aims to develop my own art style in traditional art and step out of my comfort zone. I would like to emphasize that this experience was personal to me and that I now feel much more free when drawing, which has helped me discover my ideal style. My message is simple: stop thinking and start doing. This leads to a sense of freedom and confidence in your own work. My sketchbook can be found on a table, carefully arranged to reflect my identity. You will discover all kinds of details that refer to my personality, such as to-do lists and notes to clear my mind.”

Feedback from fellow students:
"Very good and it is clear what your project is about."

Requirements for my exhibition:
- Large table/desk (I get from school)
- Desk lamp
- Laptop
- Adapter
- Plug socket (I get from school)
- Power socket nearby (I get from school)
- Name plate and project explanation text (I get from school )
- Photo frame with Buddy
- Small plant(?)
- To-do lists with written pieces of explanation about specific parts of my project/my personality
- Pen tray with pens/pencils

I asked teachers about the exact criteria for the exam of this subject.
I'll have to pay attention to the points of criteria for the self-reflection when I'm going to write it (starting June 2nd). 

I also have to prepare well for the points in the eventual presentation at the exhibition. I must be able to explain clearly which 10 commandments I have established and why and how I have kept them. I also have to be able to explain why I have chosen the way of presenting (so in my case why such a personal environment), that I can properly substantiate my choices in all this and that I can explain well how I have made it my own (how I incorporated my style into it).

My reviewer will be teacher Eva.

As you can see, for the two flowers on the right I looked for references. With these flowers I also used colored pencils for the smaller details in the petals, because those materials are more often combined and it is easier for such small details.

Today I practiced even more with watercolor. 

For this I used a different landscape for a change; a colorful forest. I did this to make it a bit more complicated for myself, because I already found watercolor difficult and therefore had an extra challenge.

Then I made a van to have drawn a vehicle as an extra challenge.

I discovered that I was using my loose, free way of drawing lines again and that it was a confirmation of what my style is, how I apply it and that I can recreate this with different types of materials.

Introduction
It all started with coming up with a question. I had done a lot of brainstorming before this, but I soon had one:

“What can I do to train myself to draw more analogically (get better at it) and develop my own style in characters, environments and other elements in it?”

I am a digital illustrator. When I got my first digital drawing tablet a few years ago, I stopped looking at my sketchbooks and colored pencils and slowly lost those skills. Well, that's how it felt. I wanted to change that.

Analogue or traditional drawing actually seems very instructive to me and good for developing certain drawing skills. You cannot easily erase lines of colored pencils or markers, you need patience with watercolors and you cannot select objects and move, scale or rotate them.
You work more accurately, but more freely and I missed that in myself in the digital side of the profession. That is why I decided to bring back the feel of paper and the different materials, transferring my drawing style, developed in the digital world, to the traditional world and developing it further into something of my own that I could use both digitally and analogue easy and is comfortable to work with.

For this I planned to keep a sketchbook in which I would do experiments with different drawing exercises or try out all kinds of art materials. All to broaden my understanding and skills of traditional drawing and to incorporate my style into it and really make it my own.

My ten commandments with that were:
- Working completely analog
- Make something in the sketchbook 2 days a week (Tuesday and Friday)
- Experiment with different materials (only pencil, colored pencils, markers, charcoal, etc.)
- Get inspiration from my own environment to copy

- For inspiration for drawing nature, also look at cottagecore aesthetic
- Study and practice anatomy
- Keep characters expressive (practice with drawing expressions)
- Eventually learn to sketch faster by using timers
- Dare to make mistakes (don't tear out “failed” work)
- Daring to step outside my comfort zone

Preparation and first realizations
Even before my question, I had made an image bank with everything that inspires and fascinates me. It contained all sorts of things about art styles that suit me, character design and the people I look up to (Stephen Silver, Mitch Leeuwe), environments and atmospheres that suit my personality (cottage core) and pieces of theory that would come in handy (anatomy, expressions/emotions). I had created a collection that made it clear to me who I am as an artist and what I want to work towards.

We were also instructed to be able to recognize formal and informal aspects and to apply them to different elaborations. Mine were all very personal. They were about my cat, Buddy, and what he means to me and how he helped me through times when I was struggling.

Then I realized that my creative thinking and style are very personal. This was a clear step towards discovering my question.
I've always been very self-conscious, but at Creative Profiling I was given the space to fully focus on this and turn it into something creative. Hence the choice to keep a sketchbook with all kinds of experiments and exercises to develop myself both on a personal level - stepping out of my comfort zone and further discovering my creative way of thinking and own style - and on a creative level. That way I would get the best out of myself.

Stress
Then I started my project. Without planning, because I wanted to give myself as much freedom as possible in experimenting; I thought I would be limiting myself if I planned out all the experiments.
I filled the first pages with all kinds of sketches of everything that came to my mind. In this way I brought back the feeling of drawing on paper and gave myself the space to get back into it.
What was already bothering me at this point, though, was the feeling that a simple sketchbook wouldn't be enough for the exam. This started a snowball effect in my head of thoughts that caused me stress, so that I completely lost the overview.
“Is my project good enough? Soon I will only have a few filled pages.”
“I have so many materials. What should I do after these sketches?”
“I also have to keep an eye on my 10 commandments. What assignments should I give myself?”

Structure
I noticed that I needed structure, a clear overview, to keep my head as empty as possible. I had a conversation with my teacher Eva about how I actually needed a schedule to give myself some rest and that eventually resulted in a schedule in Trello. It contained broad outlines of tasks and experiments I could do to check off my 10 commandments and get the best out of myself and the materials I wanted to practice with.
This also showed how I am as a person, discovered by me in this profession, because the planning made the process go much smoother than before.

Feedback and discoveries
Sketching within a certain time, fineliner exercises, drawing environments, using colored pencils, charcoal, markers and watercolors. I worked with as many techniques and materials as possible in my little book and according to fellow students I did very well and could clearly substantiate my choices. They had nothing else to say about it. My teacher Tim also thought that I worked structurally and did good technical research for each material. He said that I worked well with my planning, but was also aware that I could always deviate from certain assignments to make discoveries. I had to keep track of these discoveries, he said, so that I could continue to work with them after school. I did this right away.

My discoveries were already then that I don't think too much while drawing if I set a timer for myself, that analog sketching is faster than digital sketching and that, of course, a planning gives me more peace of mind.

Gradually more and more discoveries were made: I draw analogously less perfectionistic and careful and I feel much freer, charcoal would work better for me on a larger sheet, I like drawing and coloring with markers the most and those are my best pages and watercoloring is not so scary and much more fun than I first thought!

Two mediums, one style
You often see the same two characters and the same landscape with which I practiced and tried out the different materials. That was a way for me to develop my style and incorporate it into the use of the materials. I have a social media platform that revolves around the two characters that I digitally invented and designed myself, so that's part of my digital style. So I wanted to experiment further with these to be able to recreate them traditionally as well, in order to fuse my digital and traditional art style into one middle ground that would work for both mediums.

Conclusion
My most important discovery and also conclusion that I can tell after doing this project is that my middle ground has been found and it is a style that consists of free movements and loose lines that gives me much more confidence and a free feeling while drawing. I stepped out of my comfort zone by not thinking, but doing, which makes me less of a perfectionist and I have confidence in the process towards the result of a drawing. This I became more and more aware of per experiment or exercise, but the confirmation really came with the last experiments with watercolor. I discovered that I was using my loose, free way of drawing lines again and that it was a confirmation of what my style is, how I apply it and that I can continue to recreate this with different types of materials.

I didn't think I would come to such a certain conclusion or feel so comfortable with my own art style, but by constant encouragement and compliments from the teachers and students and giving myself personal freedom in Creative Profiling and especially by pushing through, I've learned so much more about my identity and mindset as an artist. 

I'm certainly not going to stop experimenting in my sketchbook either. I still have enough pages to fill and discover more about myself, my style and the different materials in all freedom and to keep track of.

Finally, I can apply the knowledge I have absorbed from all of this to my social media platform, to further build it up with my own unique style. I will also of course apply it to future projects.
I am much more confident in my abilities and in my future due to the developments I have undergone personally and creatively and will definitely take it into my career after SintLucas, when I start working as a freelancer. 

The next question could then be: “What can I do to continue to apply my style consistently to different types of projects?”
So I could look at that again after my study.

Exhibition (extra)
My project is called 'Personal Freedom' and for this I devised a suitable exhibition expression, which was seen as powerful by my teacher Eva: a recreation of my personal environment. By that I mean my desk, where every idea starts and drawings are made. I quickly came up with this idea when we first heard about the exhibition and thought it best suited me and my work.
Because I write down all important tasks, appointments and deadlines on to-do lists to keep my head as empty as possible, I will also put down to-do lists. These will have pieces of explanation on them that will guide you through my exhibition. This gives visitors an idea of ​​my identity as a person and as an artist, both sides of which I also worked on during Creative Profiling.